One of our clients presented us with a challenge. She’d written an ad to promote a special offer but it was so long she’d need to take a full page in a local magazine. She couldn’t afford that so wanted the ad drastically cut down, without losing any of the essential points.
We slashed it by 90%, leaving only the critical 10% that really matters: about 30 words rather than 330.
Take a look at the ‘before’ and ‘after’ versions (we’ve changed some names.)
Our client saved a fortune on her advertising budget, and still got a powerful message across.
BEFORE:
SPECIAL ANNIVERSARY THANK-YOU
WILMA’S WONDERS want to tell you about a great offer we’ve got coming up. We opened in 1999 tucked behind what is now Café Mocha on the Bridge Road, with three staff working full or part-time.
Our mission was to build up a large client base by offering our clients services they couldn’t get anywhere else in the town at that time. We like to think we were the first in Millington to come up with the idea of bespoke, individualised company lunch baskets that provided a selection of lunchtime sandwiches in a basket for company employees too busy to leave the office at lunchtime to eat.
Although we no longer offer that service due to there being less demand now than there was then, we continue to provide a fantastic selection of ready-made and made-while-you-wait sandwiches for hungry business staff, as well as shoppers and other people, including seniors, at our shop.
If you’re watching your weight or BMI we have tasty low-calorie snacks and breadless salads too for you to take away and enjoy at your leisure or at your desk.
You’ll find us opposite the Post Office on the High Street, with a bright blue and white awning embossed with our WW initials. You can’t miss us, next to the pet shop!
We’ll be offering a different speciality sandwich every day from this month as well as our old favourite tastes and if you buy one sandwich every day from Monday to Friday we’ll give you a free sandwich on your next visit. We’ll be doing this for the next six months to celebrate the fact that we are celebrating our 10th anniversary since we opened. It’s our way of thanking you and attracting new people in to the shop.
Thanks to Wilma having been awarded the South of England Best Bakery award in 2006, 2007 and 2008, we have lots of good customers and if you haven’t tried us yet, you should come along soon.
AFTER:
Free sandwich every week at award-winning Wilma’s Wonders
Best Bakery in South of England 3 times in a row.
Fantastic range of fresh speciality, low-calorie and favourite bites.
34 High Street, Millington: 10 Years of Quality Service.
Remember the Editing Edge motto: Save words – save money!
